May 17, 2014 at 4:30 am #1030
Journaling is a powerful tool for transformation. It provides an opportunity to be both honest and vulnerable: something we don’t always feel safe doing in our everyday lives. When we journal, we can discover things we didn’t know we knew, questions we didn’t know we had, and feelings that may surprise us.
A few simple pointers: Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, or grammar; Keep some attention on your breath as you write; Keep writing for five to ten minutes or as long as it feels comfortable and useful. That’s it!
This week’s journal prompt is:
Week 2: “The truth is . . .”
May 18, 2014 at 4:30 am #1031
The truth is, there’s more to life than I can ever know, and so to try and make a reasoned decision about anything is ludicrous. There are an infinite number of factors and possibilities that I could never consider, so to try to choose based on logic and reason is, in all honesty, unreasonable.
The truth is, the very next thing I will write is a complete mystery to me. That is what makes it ripe with discovery. I don’t know whether my words will be insightful, boring, confusing, or worthwhile. But I keep writing anyway: to be honest, I’m not sure why. Writing simply feels like a natural extension of who I am. When writing, I discover a part of myself that I don’t get to spend time with otherwise, much like visiting with an old friend.
The truth is my future is a mystery. I have no idea what each day will hold, but what I’ve discovered is that I know what I need to know in each moment, and I know I have the wherewithal to handle whatever happens as a result of the actions I take. I know that I do not have to know what the right step is: I need only do the thing that feels most right in this moment.
The truth is I’ve discovered something in recent years that I hadn’t known in the first four decades of my life: I discovered that I am genuinely compassionate, sincere, worthwhile, and value added. It was when I reasoned my way through life that I made such a mess of things. When I trust myself, when I trust that my actions arise from a space of genuine caring, vulnerability, and wholeness, I’m empowered to step most skillfully into uncharted waters.
The truth is I don’t know why I’m here, or what step to take next, or what word I will write, but I also know that I don’t have to know. Surrender to the “not knowing“ aligns my actions with what is most truthful. Our mind collects far more information than our brain can account for or interpret. There is a universe of intangible points of fact that never get factored in to the rational equation. Relaxing our laser focus to allow other areas of our mind to share what they know allows for a more fully baked decision.
The truth is, I am skilled and recognizing patterns within a situation, though it can take some time to fully understand a situation.
The truth is, I sometimes feel awkward in social situations. I don’t always know what to say that will spawn worthwhile conversation. As a result, I can seem a bit antisocial at times, though other times I definitely shine. Those moments of shining are rare, because they arise from a space of vulnerability and genuine questioning that is not commonly found in our societal norms. I’m not as confident in situations where small talk or gossip is the topic of choice. In these situations, I struggle to uphold that boundary between wanting to say what I feel and wanting to fit in. Needless to say, I don’t get out much.
The truth is I’m lonely at times, and while I have developed a strategy to turn that loneliness into a source of empowerment, there are times when I wonder if that strategy is being misused, and is actually cutting me off from experiencing the fullest possible expression of myself.
The truth is, I’m not perfect. In the past I’ve made mis-steps that caused genuine hardship for people that I love and care about. Taking responsibility for my thoughts, speech, feelings, and actions was the turning point to a fulfilling life. I’ve learned to listen for dysfunctional conditioned patterns of thoughts, and when I noticed them, I simply ask: Is this thought in alignment with the fullest possible expression of myself in this moment? From there, I am able to make any adjustments needed to bring my thoughts, speech, feelings, and actions, back into alignment. When I know better, I do better. In recognizing the conditioned, unhealthy thought, the most important thing has already happened: I awoke from identification from it. That awakening is the key to living an inspired, compassionate, responsible life.
The truth is, there is way more that I don’t know then what I do know, and even the things I do know are open for interpretation. I can never know anything for sure, and that uncertainty can serve to either shut me down or open me up. I choose to open, even if that means at times I will make a mess. The willingness to be vulnerable in alignment with my highest self, the willingness to be wrong, the willingness to make a mess, creates the opportunity for truth to be known.
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